Friday, July 8, 2011

Introducing: "God Only Knows!"

Happy Friday, Sugarlumps!

Well, I for one am EXCITED! We're dancing this weekend, & my coils are standing up to this 102 degree Texas heat with a dare to try to take 'em down!

Ok, enough chit chat - we gotta get to the meat of this pot luck! Today, I proudly introduce to all my curlfriends, "God Only Knows" a short story series following the reinvention of Dustin DeShanell - a proud curly following her own rules...until she waits to hear from God. I'm so excited for you all to meet Dustin & I hope you'll love her as much as I do! And feel free to leave me some feedback: does the story make you dance, or like pickled pig's feet w/a shot of butter rum ice cream, does it make you gag! Let me know what you think - this one's for you! Have an awesome weekend & enjoy the first installment of "God Only Knows!"

"Ouch! Why ME?!"

My taupe wedge sandal had the NERVE to bounce off my tarried twist-out while I got a totally ubsolicited lesson in face floor-diving.

"Shoot!" I slammed my fist against the ground and sat up to massage my aching leg, which was slowly giving natural birth to a cankle. "That, my friend," I mumbled to the stale summer air suffocating my miniscule loft, "is called: MY LIFE."

I peeled my sore body from the toasty hardwood floor, abandoning my purse, dance bag & spewed contents where they rested. I snatched off the other high priced, superficial offender & pitched it to the wall. Cracked a half-moon into my framed "I Love Lucy" poster! "SERIOUSLY?" I chastised my uncomfortable footwear. "I paid over $150 bucks for you, let you turn my toes into roasted corn pops & you play me like this? You're lucky everyone else I know has big feet or you'd be history!" I fussed, half expecting an apology. At least my toes were finally free. I raced over to the orphaned computer - left on all day. AGAIN. (Note to self: the extra dough you're shelling out for unused electric could pick up like 100 Jack In The Box 2-for-$1 tacos. Just sayin.')

A pink, mini-sequinned nail snagged a patch of hair as I raked my hand through the 5 day old twist-out. My neglected curls were practically Tweeting me begging for some serious Me Time. Uggghhh, the thought of moving up Wash Day made me throw up in my mouth a little. The mass of hair taking out a lease on my scalp since I'd ditched my relaxers seemed to require me to hire three more sets of hands and an additional back to handle my natural business. And at the rate my funds weren't stretching....I needed a loan just to pick up some Shea Moisture for my head! Besides, dance practice left me dead tired & I was already feeling like all four "Golden Girls" put together. Not to mention this was shaping up to be the best day of my life (for now) & I was ready chat my cyber family up & let them in on my brand new blessing! Nothing was going to steal my joy today. NOTHING.

"HEY, BEAUTIFUL." The chat message appeared as soon as I logged onto Facebook. Yep, Nothing was going to change the course of my great day....until NOW. I hit the 'escape' button, ignoring the disappearing greeting & ready to focus on my joy.

"HEY....BEAUTIFUL." The more insistent greeting interrupted my screen commands in it's all-caps rudeness. I tapped the 'escape' button again, just as I'd done with our dearly departed relationship - escaped.

"DUSTIN." Uuuggghhh. Stop yelling at me. You don't call the shots anymore. In fact, you don't even have the privilege or honor to speak my name. Or type it.

"DUSTIN. It's me....MARKKO." Yeah, like I can't tell from the ginourmous noggin in your profile picture.

"D - LET'S NOT PLAY GAMES. YOU'RE BEING CHILDISH." Me? CHILDISH? You're the one all-capping me! You're lucky I didn't go TMZ on you after I Donald Trump'd your behind & put all your business in the street! Dude, you tried to break up with me on Facebook! In fact, why didn't I delete you????

My heart was telling me that I needed to close this thing. So may questions I had. One day Markko adored me, & the next? I was left feeling just like that lunatic on the failed flash mob commercial: stupid, late & ALONE.

"WE NEED TO TALK......" Markko could be a real gentle gem when he wanted to be. But subtleness was never one of his strong suits; that's how he landed the job on Channel 4 in the first place. That, and he wasn't too hard on the corneas, either.


My heart told me to jump in with both feet. My head told me get ready to catch a case if I did.
I never was any good at Rock/Paper/Scissors..........................

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