Great Monday, Gorgeous Ladies! I pray your weekend was a blessed one; mine was so great, my frizzies had to wear shade!
I am really stoked to drop this week's Web-Celeb guest feature in your laps! This little lady exudes such positive energy, you cannot help but smile when you read her work. She managed to successfully execute a ridiculously long transition that not only inspired me to kick off my own journey, but she birthed an insanely beautiful & healthy crown of hair in the process.Her advice is sound and easily relatable - which is such a plus for naturals who are just starting out. She's a gifted writer, talented multi-tasker & a great mommy to boot! She's GG of The Write Curl Diary & Peace, Love & Pretty Things!How long have you been rocking your frizzness?
I got my last relaxer back in Spring of 2006. Then I transitioned for about three years. I’ve officially been rocking all natural hair for about two years now.
Did you desire a second date following your BC/End of transition, or did you make reservations for a party of ONE? Party of one. I never even considered looking back.
Natural Hair doesn't define who you are BUT..... it definitely says a lot about my personality. My intention in life is to always feel free and expressive, multi-faceted and unpredictable. My natural hair is all of those things.
What was the moment of epiphany in your journey? When I first decided to stop relaxing, I never intended to stop straightening my hair. Then one day, I decided to try a wash and go. I felt liberated and yet uncomfortable that day. I wasn’t used to wearing my hair in its natural state like that. I’d been conditioned that wearing my hair like that was unkempt, so I felt like people were looking at me funny, you know? But I soon realized that was all in my head. And that realization opened so many doors that had been closed in my mind.
Because natural manes are so unpredictable, how do you combat feeling defeated on days when your crown seems less than stellar (based your OWN criteria)? It comes with the territory. You are going to have awesome hair days where you want to go everywhere and see everyone! Then you are going to have days where your hair seems to be on a mission to defy what you want it to do. I love being able to put my hair in a bun. If all else fails, I can always pull off that style. And now that my hair is natural, my buns are fuller and more unique looking than they were when I was relaxed.
Do random people attempt to lay hands in your mane? Nope, I’ve never had that happen.
Do you find your mane becoming the grand topic of conversation? Sometimes. Nowadays, so many women are going natural and/or taking a more DIY approach to hair care. I love to talk about hair, so sometimes when someone simply asks me how I did my hair that day, I’ll go off on a tangent and probably give them way more information than they really wanted. So, I’ll try to give brief answers and let them probe if they want to get into the nitty gritty details.
CONFIDENCE CHECK: Has natural hair allowed you to dance as if no one is watching, or has your aurora remain unfazed since your relaxed days? Having natural hair is definitely affected my confidence and my sense of freedom. My journey to natural occurred during a time where I was transitioning in other areas of my life as well. So, in my mind, my hair is symbolic of a shift in my perspective on life and my purpose in it. I don’t doubt myself as much as I used to, and I feel more in touch with my creativity and my unique point of view.
Share some secrets leading to a fabulous, happy, HEALTHY mane...promise we WILL tell! Everyone’s hair is different! But, here are some tips that I swear by:
-Pre-poo with oil/Oil Rinsing: If you have a hard time detangling your hair on wash day, and you’ve never tried pre-pooing with oil – you must try it! My favorite oils for this are coconut oil, EVOO and castor oil. I like to saturate my hair overnight in one of these oils and then wash my hair in the morning. I can tell a major difference when I skip this step! Another option is to wash your hair, then do an oil rinse before you condition. To oil rinse, I simply saturate my hair and scalp with oil after the shampoo step, then I rinse and continue with conditioning.
-Stretch your ends: My hair is fine and extremely and annoyingly prone to single strand knots! As much as possible, I try to keep my hair in styles where my ends are stretched. For me, this means that I put a roller on my ends when I’m setting my hair in twists or braids. In the winter, I’ll blowdry my hair about once a month (on low setting) to stretch my hair. I keep wash and gos to a minimum.
-Protective/Low Maintenance Styling: I started noticing much more length retention when I decreased the amount of time I spent with my hair out. For my hair to retain length, I simply can’t wear it down everyday like I used to. I’m currently shooting for waist-length hair by the end of this year. To accomplish that goal, I wear my hair in protective styles, mainly buns and updos at least 4-5 days a week and I wear it down mainly on weekends. There are some weeks where I wear it up for all 7 days. The less time I spend messing with it, detangling it, styling it – the better.
What was the WORST mistake you’ve made along the way? The worse mistake I’ve made is thinking that I could treat my hair any kind of way and it would still retain length and be healthy. I really thought that since my hair was sans chemicals, that it would be super strong and resilient and I wouldn’t have to worry about heat, tangles, deep conditioning, etc. I could not have been more wrong. Natural, textured, curly and kinky hair all have their own weaknesses that you have to be aware of and manage such as single strand knots, dryness/porosity issues, protein balance, etc.
What advice can you bless new, transitioning or frustrated kinky curly queens with? Learn your own hair! Advice is great, but your hair is not a duplicate of anyone else’s. So, when you hear ideas or techniques from others, it’s fine to try them out but pay attention to how your hair reacts and tweak those techniques as necessary. For example, most naturals hate using products with mineral oil. I, on the other hand, use them strategically. If I want a super shiny, popping twist out for an event, I’m using Pink Oil Moisturizer (which contains mineral oil) to seal my hair for the set. It never fails me. What I know, however, is that mineral oil causes build up and it causes it fast, so I don’t use it on a regular basis – just special occasions. Don’t feel limited by what everyone else is doing or not doing with their hair.
Also, have patience. You will not learn your natural hair texture overnight. You will have some bad hair days, so invest in some scarves, hats and other accessories to help you out when you’ve got to be somewhere and your hair is not cooperating.
Finally, don’t expect your hair to behave like it did when it was relaxed. One summer during my transition, I went to a wedding on the beach on a humid day. For some reason, I thought it was a good idea to straighten my hair. Needless to say, my hair looks like a crazy afro with straight ends in every picture. Lesson learned. Be realistic about your styling choices.
What natural experiments put the glam in your crown? Which ones ended up filed under Campaign EPIC FAIL? Using henna was an experiment that turned out beautifully! Once I get the process down, I found that henna treatments made my hair thicker, stronger and shinier.
The only epic fails I’ve had were when I was transitioning and had two textures in my head. There were so many times where my relaxed hair wouldn’t curl or my natural hair wouldn’t stay straight. Those were the toughest days, because you have to deal with people asking you what the heck is going on with your hair and why don’t you just stop playing around and relax it. I just ignored these kinds of comments and stuck to the plan.
What's the most fabulous part of your journey to frizzness? The most fabulous part of my journey is what I have learned about myself. My natural hair journey has taught me to question many things that I’ve been conditioned to believe. I’m learning to define what I want for myself and not conform to what everyone else may want for me. And being self-approved makes me feel more fabulous than any amount of approval that I could possibly get from the outside world.
Outside of your gorgeous mane, what inspires you? So many things inspire me! Inspiration is everywhere I look. I’m inspired by people who are super honest and raw with their feelings. I’m inspired by struggle, adversity and the resiliency of the human spirit. I’m energized by openminded, creative people. I’m inspired by love, kindness, my children, writing, dance, music, friendship, and spaces full of positive energy. Oh, and I’m inspired by good food and wine! Can’t forget that!
How can our beautiful readers find you on the web? You can find me on my personal blog about my love of hair, writing and self-discovery here: www.thewritecurldiary.com or you can find me on my other blog that I co-author with one of my besties: www.peaceloveandprettythings.com You can also find me on twitter @TheWriteCurl or @PeaceLovePretty.
Many thanks & blessings for getting down to frizzness!
