Wednesday, August 24, 2011

CURLFESSION: I'm A Bad Natural!

Good day, Curlie-Pies! This week, challenge yourself to do something BOLD, fresh & out of the ordinary! Things may be getting tough, but it's a fantastic time to re-purpose & chase after your dreams!!!!

So next month, my coils will have meticulously counted two years since their last smackdown from the creamy curl depressants (named "relaxers" in a strange twist of fate) & six months since bidding adieu to my fair-weather ends!
I must have searched, stalked, dissected, consumed & ingested every You Tube tutorial & hair blog in a fit of cyber gluttony until my little frizzies needed a trough of Pepto Bismol to calm their frazzled nerves. Shoot, all the research I conducted should earn me a hard-earned Master's degree from NATURAL IS NOT A FAD UNIVERSITY! Except for, well - I have a little confession.....

.....I'm a HORRIBLE natural!


Shamefaced, I might as well toss my curls over a splintered block of wood & break 'em off at the knee caps like the deranged chick did to the poor dude in the movie "Misery." (I love that movie. Aggression at its finest).

But back to the matter at hand. I'm a bad curlie. Don't believe me? The evidence speaks for itself. Allow me to explain:

#1) Protective Styling is my Arch-nemesis.
The Joker to Batman. Goliath to David. Plankton to Spongebob.
Any variation of a corn row, flat twist, glorious twisty-thingys to ME.
I wear my hair out, or in a puff/pony 99.8.25% of the time. I just so happen to be in 2 strand twists this week. But don't let their cuteness deceive your questioning eyes; the resulting twist-out will not make anyone's style wish list none too soon. Seriously, protective styles in fact hate my curl's guts. If they indeed have any. (And I'm inclined to believe they do). Darn the glam hair idols in their elegant updo glory! Drat the hair pins mercilessly stabbing me in my noggin because I never plant them correctly. And bless the bottom of my shoe I just can't swing a rockin' twistout. On the upside, my ends are healthy & perfectly coiled. I don't suffer from single strand knots, shedding is minimal, I can easily detangle with my fingers & I stay from heat - period. Oh and I sleep on a satin pillowcase. Redemption is mine!

Are you ready to snatch my natural pass yet? No? Well what about the fact that.....

#2) Why, yes - yes I DID put that on my head!
Ok, so I promise I'm not out to salmonella my curls, I'm really not! It's just that choosing which ingredients to feed our kinks & curls to me is akin to an excruciatingly extended game of Rock Paper Scissors - I just don't get it! And while there are very reputable (read: knowledgeable) naturals on the curly landscape, if I listen to every kitchen scientician in the blogosphere citing what MY hair likes, wants & needs, my coils will end up looking like the Scarecrow's stuffing in The Wiz: DRY! So I just can't ban a product from the Promised Land simply because it has mineral oil, silicones or such. What's trash for one mane may prove a feast for another. I mean, I drench my potato chips (well, any food leasing out space in my tummy) in Tabasco sauce. I don't know what I'd do without it in my life! Other folk are heat-intolerant. I know what my curls delight in, when they're pouting & when they have coil-digestion. I mean, I'm gentle with my strands & won't dunk my head in motor oil or anything like that, but our curls are sometimes like sheltered teens: once they are are finally released from the nest....they WILL show their hindquarters. There's nothing worse than curl-rebel, so don't be afraid to try new things with your crown!

#3) I DARE a pair of scissors to come near my coils!
Maybe it's residual trauma from previous trimming fiascoes. I may possibly be suffering from post BC ignorance-is-bliss delusion, or perhaps I just don't feel like cutting my daggone strands! Sure, I applaud those who never miss their regularly scheduled trimming session; some curlies really need that to keep their noggins in tip top form & relieve hair related stress. HOWEVER - if excessive single strand knotting isn't giving you the blues, if your ends are perky & positive, if tangles don't make you want to jump into a sulfate/mineral oil infested swap.....what are you cutting for? I think it's up to each individual Curlie-Pie's crown if & when it needs to be spit shined. We can easily tell a ratty end from one that's happy to be nappy. Just don't get so caught up in the "I have to trim every 3 months" that you stunt your mane's growth in the process!

When it comes to my tresses, I take a more Cyndi Lauper/"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" approach rather than "Mommie Dearest" (No more wire hangers!!!!!!). Suffice it to say, between my hubbs, my Monday - Friday/9 to 5, dance company AND blogging....who has time for another job or chore? No need to add years (& worry lines) onto our faces in our pilgrimage for healthy locks. After all, STRESS is detrimental to our internal HEALTH, and if our inside-self isn't on the mend, then how will our outside-self rock on fantabulously? Just saying. I simply adore HUGE hair as much as the next curly/kinky....but we remedy ourselves from our relaxed ends so we can be free, yes? Looking around at all the gorgeous naturals I spot everywhere, I'd say curly girls do indeed ROCK, whether kinky, curly, wavy, coily, afro'd, TWA'd or whatever. Have fun with your mane - the world is watching!

So there you have it. Do with me what you will. Freeze my Eco Styler. Product-nap all of my beloved Shea Moisture goodies. Flush my castor oil. Assault my unprotected coils with a flat iron. Well no, don't do THAT. I may be a "bad" curlie, but my fro is shiny, bouncy, healthy, happy & GROWING. Honestly, because I just let it be. Maybe that's "protective" styling after all. Remember in enjoying all of the wonderful resources we have at our fingertips & celebrating the awesomeness of natural hair, just don't go overboard. Put an ear to your mane & see what it has to say. You just may be surprised.

There's 2 sides to every Frizz,
natural dancer

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